- Living After The Blood That Violated My Head Has Left It's Mark
- For the last year I have been trying to return to my old self, An aneurysm and brain hemorrhage totally changed my life. But I'm a fighter, so most of the people that see me, think that nothing has changed. My world consist of several doctor visits, migraine headaches, and depression. Still I smile. My inner strength comes from GOD! Copyright: Cheryl Lovely is the sole owner of the blog and its content.
Monday, February 6, 2012
My cousin Sheila walked in that room, I was not feeling well at all, but I was glad to see her. We have not seen each other since we were in elementary school. I could see the worry in her eyes, but she was still very comforting because she was there. I Love her.
Chantelle, she was a gem, a peach, an angel, just Love. This young lady, went to work everyday, and would come in the evenings. While at work she would call the nurses. Spend the night with me,then shower and go to work from the hospital. This girl put her life on hold for me, I also learned that she was the link to keeping my family and friends updated on my status. There is no amount of money to repay her for what she did for me. I would watch her play jewel quest on her phone, to handle the stress.
Fred, although he worked two jobs was there. I remember him being so sleepy but he still would sit there and talk to me, and tell me to get better. My favorite visit with him was when he came to see me one day, now Fred has this beautiful dark chocolate skin, and he showed up wearing all red. I laughed so hard because I used to call him Santa Claus, so that was a real treat for me. No lie he looks really good in red! Oh oh here comes the big headache again., don't want my friend to see me suffer but I have no control of over when they decide to attack. Here comes my nurse, how does she know I thought, then I looked over at the window where she sits watching over me like a hawk from outside the window. She said I saw you holding your head and putting the towel over your face, that's how we know you're hurting, and also your blood pressure rises on my monitor. Your stomach is very sensitive so this is for nausea in the IV it goes, then this is for the pain. You doctor changed to Dilaudid, because he wants you to rest better, and the morphine is only giving ten to fifteen minutes of sleep. Fred is laughing because he says I am speaking some other language, I guess its the drugs. Don't know how long I slept but my friend was right there when I woke up. Funny stories, like I always try to call people while I'm asleep, or I fell asleep while dialing a number. Oh yeah they had jokes for me.
Rhonda, by ten in the morning she'd be walking in my room! What a great way to start my day. She would keep me up to date on the happenings around the city. My mornings were always tough, I don't have an appetite, my head is pounding, fear is running through my head. So it's nice to see Rhonda. She may not know this, but she has a laugh that makes me smile. She would ask the nurses how I'm doing also, and would get on to me about eating, or what ever was necessary at the time. She got to laugh at me when drugs were pushed into my IV also.
Sholonda, God's little Angel! she has one of those faces that you know God runs through her veins. So sweet to see her, she had her prayers warriors praying for me, and I'm grateful. One day she walked in and I was not feeling well at all, I think she knew it. so she told me to rest and not worry about trying to visit with her. I was dealing with this feeling that I was going to go back to sleep and not wake up. Death was hovering over me all that day. Sholonda's presence was comforting and shprayed for me.
Lionel, a very sharp dresser, can't no body wear a bow tie like him. He is always busy with his company and his volunteer work with children in the inner city schools. Still found time to come and check on me. Every time he could break away, he was there at the hospital, he teased me about my actions on meds too. Lionel is that "Ram In A Bush" that you hear people talk about. What a friend!
Gwen, at this point we never met in person. We are in a women's group called, "Fabulous Over Forty". She would call and check on me, and ask me what I needed. She and her husband took time out of their busy lives to come and bring it. Wow I am still so humbled by that.
Marie, she and her brother-in-law came before they left for New York. She had a smile on her face but I can tell she was still concerned. After all she was with me when I got the bad news.
Ronnie Hudson, former Bass Player for Issac Hayes. He adopted me as his little sister a few years ago. I didn't expect to see him, because he has gigs all of the time. Fred called him and told him that I was in the hospital. He brought his beautiful wife Kathleen with him I was so happy to finally meet her. Also Sherman was with him, man I really do have friends that Love me, looking back as I write this.
My adopted lil sister Tamara back in Texas was soooo sweet and kept the doctors posted. Dr Helmer and Dr Bunch were concerned. We worked together in oncology. I'm grateful
Josie, Brenda, and some of the other ladies in the group called to check on me, it meant a lot to me. I'm grateful.
God is so awesome, he showed me that I do have family here, I thank each and every one of them from the bottom of my heart. I Love You All!!! To be continued...
I woke up with all kinds of wires, attached to my body, needles in my arms, nurses and doctors talking to me. Thinking to myself, "oh Lord they keep talking to me, and I'm just scared. I don't know what the heck is going on ,I just want all of them to leave me alone, so I can get out of this bed to go the the bathroom. Squeezing as tight as I can so that I don't wet my bed, I finally ask may I go t the bathroom I ask? The nurse says just let it go honey, I put a catheter in your bladder. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm singing in my head, it feels sooooo good to tinkle! So tired now AND FEELING NOT LIKE MYSELF, I don't like this, please make it go away. If I don't tell the nurse how I'm feeling then maybe I can go home to my bed. Yeah that's it don't tell em, just say I feel fine every time they ask you. The Neuro Surgeon tells me that he is going to do a procedure called an angiogram, that he is going to POKE A HOLE IN THE ARTERY IN MY GROIN! THEN RUN A TINY TUBE UP TO YOUR BRAIN AND PUSH A RADIOACTIVE DYE THROUGH IT. HE WANTS TO LOOK AT MY BRAIN. GEESH IS IT REALLY THAT SIMPLE DOC? So then I gave him my instructions, " My head is already killing me, so when you inject me with that numbing stuff. I need for you to walk away (lol) go make a call of something. You guys never let the stuff numb first, and that is stressing me out right now. He laughed and said OK boss. I survived the procedure, I tried to stay awake for it, thought it might be kinda cool to see the dye traveling through my brain on the screen, but man they got powerful drugs in this place. Everybody that knows me, know I hate that "out of my head feeling" Next thing I know I'm back in my glass room in NICU, don't remember anyone taking me back there. The Neurologist comes in and tells me that I had a CEREBRAL BRAIN ANEURYSM AND A SUB ARACHNOID HEMORRHAGE, I instantly start to cry, because I know that people don't survive this. He tells me that he will see me later, he is going to study the film. Then a tech comes to my bed and says your doctor wants a sonogram done of your neck.
It must be the Fourth Of July, because I feel them in my head! Dang I can't hide it from the nurse. screaming and rolling around the bed is what the pain is forcing me to do. My nurse was there in a New York minute, She had in her hand what I learned immediately is the "GOOD STUFF" She was explaining to me what the drug was, and, and, and,well I don't remember anything else she said. That was good sleep for a while then I woke up again to the worst pain you can imagine having in your head times ten. So I'm given more drugs in the IV, and sent to have a CAT SCAN. OK so I'm stoned out of my mind and the tech had the nerve to ask me my name, Lord I pray that I didn't say anything unpleasant. Still don't remember it, but my nurses always lets me know what was and is being done to me. Nothing like a caring nurse!!!
We are not going to do surgery the unless there is a change that happens. The risk are too great, and sometimes its better to let the brain heal on its own. If pressure builds up we will have to go in and drain it, for now lets just watch you. That is what the doctors tell me, and to be honest, I didn't know what to think of that. My head is hurting, and I didn't want to think about anything.
Needles, CAT SCANS, there is too much going on today and I don't feel up to any of it. This being a patient thing is too much.. I'm supposed to be out there enjoying life, not in here. Lord please let me out of here.
To be continued...