"In Neuro ICU"

                                                          




I woke up with all kinds of wires, attached to my body, needles in my arms, nurses and doctors talking to me. Thinking to myself, "oh Lord they keep talking to me, and I'm just scared. I don't know what the heck is going on ,I just want all of them to leave me alone, so I can get out of this bed to go the the bathroom. Squeezing as tight as I can so that I don't wet my bed, I finally ask may I go t the bathroom I ask? The nurse says just let it go honey, I put a catheter in your bladder. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm singing in my head, it feels sooooo good to tinkle! So tired now AND FEELING NOT LIKE MYSELF, I don't like this, please make it go away. If I don't tell the nurse how I'm feeling then maybe I can go home to my bed. Yeah that's it don't tell em, just say I feel fine every time they ask you. The Neuro Surgeon tells me that he is going to do a procedure called an angiogram, that he is going to POKE A HOLE IN THE ARTERY IN MY GROIN! THEN RUN A TINY TUBE UP TO YOUR BRAIN AND PUSH A RADIOACTIVE DYE THROUGH IT. HE WANTS TO LOOK AT MY BRAIN. GEESH IS IT REALLY THAT SIMPLE DOC? So then I gave him my instructions, " My head is already killing me, so when you inject me with that numbing stuff. I need for you to walk away (lol) go make a call of something. You guys never let the stuff numb first, and that is stressing me out right now. He laughed and said OK boss. I survived the procedure, I tried to stay awake for it, thought it might be kinda cool to see the dye traveling through my brain on the screen, but  man they got powerful  drugs in this place. Everybody that knows me, know I hate that "out of my head feeling" Next thing I know I'm back in my glass room in NICU, don't remember anyone taking me back there. The Neurologist comes in and tells me that I had a CEREBRAL BRAIN ANEURYSM AND A SUB ARACHNOID HEMORRHAGE, I instantly start to cry, because I know that people don't survive this. He tells me that he will see me later, he is going to study the film. Then a tech comes to my bed and says your doctor wants a sonogram done of your neck.
It must be the Fourth Of July, because I feel them in my head! Dang I can't hide it from the nurse. screaming and rolling around the bed is what the pain is forcing me to do. My nurse was there in a New York minute, She had in her hand what I learned immediately is the "GOOD STUFF" She was explaining to me what the drug was, and, and, and,well I don't remember anything else she said. That was good sleep for a while then I woke up again to the worst pain you can imagine having in your head times ten. So I'm given more drugs in the IV, and sent to have a CAT SCAN. OK so I'm stoned out of my mind and the tech had the nerve to   ask me my name, Lord I pray that I didn't say anything unpleasant. Still don't remember it, but my nurses always lets me know what was and is being done to me. Nothing like a caring nurse!!!

We are not going to do surgery the unless there is a change that happens. The risk are too great, and sometimes its better to let the brain heal on its own. If pressure builds up we will have to go in and drain it, for now lets just watch you. That is what the doctors tell me, and to be honest, I didn't know what to think of that. My head is hurting, and I didn't want to think about anything.

Needles, CAT SCANS, there is too much going on today and I don't feel up to any of it. This being a patient thing is too much.. I'm supposed to be out there enjoying life, not in here. Lord please let me out of here.
To be continued...